About an I Matter Journey 

Thinking about the Adult role

Caring for children and young people is one of the most challenging and one of the most rewarding experiences that we can have.

The image of a journey is a really useful one.

There are times when we wander through easy fields and other times when it seems as if there is an impossible mountain to climb and you can't see the way forward.

There are periods of sunshine and others with storms and sometimes the FOG sets in

Training in the I Matter Framework is intended to equip professionals and parents and young people for this journey.

Have you got time to think a little?

It might be easier to make time for training when you are wandering through the easy fields in the sunshine but it might not seem there is much need

However when you start to climb into more difficult country or the thunder and lightening starts to crash or the FOG really sets in thick you may wish you had done a little more preparation.

Because when you are hunting around for advice you may quickly become confused by seemingly contradictory advice.

By the time things become very steep you may be hanging on so tightly and the fog may seem so thick that you can't see how it is possible to do any studying though you wish maybe that you had known a bit more before you set out.

So one of the most productive times to study the I Matter Framework is when things are starting to be a little more challenging but not yet overwhelming.

OR when you have 'acknowledged that you have been feeling unprepared and out of your depth' and so you have decided to ease the pressure in order to make some time to learn.

Have you ever been aware of the Fog?

The truth about an I Matter Journey is that life with children or other adults can throw up a lot of challenges and it is easy to find oneself overwhelmed.    

There is nothing wrong with being overwhelmed or confused - except that it doesn't feel very nice - and it makes relationships difficult.

So the opportunity of training in the I Matter Framework is that it will help you make time to reflect.

If this is what you are willing to do.

The point is that You Matter - BECAUSE of the key role you have to play in improving your relationships with others - in work and home roles.

There may need to be some changes

If things have been very difficult another important truth is that you will likely need to be making some changes.

Because, remember, 'if you always do what you have always done, then you will always get what you have always got'

So the question often is 'What changes?  Why?  HOW?

We can't tell you exactly what those changes will be.  However we know that they will become clearer if you stick with the process.

Sometimes you may discover that a lot of what you are doing already is spot on - but now you will know why.

Othertimes there may be small but important tweeks to make to what you are doing right now - to see better results.

Sometimes however you may need to take a jump - across a chasm - that feels scary - but you will know you have to and that you are ready and that there are people who want to support you.

Figuring out what is what takes some time.

No Quick fixes - sorry!

So I Matter Training doesn't give you any quick fixes - though there are some quick wins.   

If you have already done a lot of reading you may think that some of the ideas are too basic or that you 'already know it'

However if things are still not working well, then you will need to dig a bit deeper to find out why - or to think more clearly about what your role is - or could be - and the I Matter Framework will help you with this.

If you have decisions to make, or an organisation to lead, or a complex child to support, or children that argue a lot, your insight and clarity is vitally important.

A key point - we are NOT here to fix you, or fix others. or fix your child.   

In fact if you decide to pursue an I Matter Journey you will find there is a lot of hard work involved from you - as you find your own way forward.

However training will help you get clear about what is most important and why - if you want to see healthier happier relationship results.

It will equip you to work better with others and to make best use of other opportunities.

It will help you to value yourself without feeling this is selfish.   It will guide you towards what this could like like.

It will also help you become the adult that your child or others need you to be so that you can have the improved relationships that you want -

And that is very precious indeed!

If you are ready the journey can be challenging and special

If you want to see results though you have to be willing to make time to learn and to make time to prioritise the important stuff.

You have to be willing and ready to grow and change and ready to sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable

Sometimes as you start to become clearer and stronger it can seem that things get worse - or more intense  - before they get better.

This is part of the journey process.   It can sometimes feel very hard, and lonely, and not what you imagined life should be

Remember too that this journeying s a process of months and years not just days and weeks in which your growing awareness counts.

To support you, the I Matter Framework and the Course Poster book will provide you with a helpful map.  

Like having a compass in your pocket.  

It is something that you can rely on because it has been developed following a long and careful study of the psychological evidence about what children and adults need to thrive.

You can rely on it because it was designed for people like you.

Hard working. committed parents and professionals and young people who WANT to play their part

And are ready to learn - and struggle sometimes

To get to where they want to go.

We like to aim high

To healthier. happier home relationships.

Healthier, happier schools,

Healthier, happier communities

A healthier, happier planet.

And we want to get there having enjoyed the views...

Just that.

Remember that you can make a difference!

We love our work and are honoured to be here cheering you on!


Dr Cathy Betoin

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It's quite simple really - we offer resources and encourage people to take time to think and learn about what is happening around them..

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We carefully gather evidence of the impact of I Matter Training using a variety of formats and will be presenting more here very shortly.

Get Started: Learn why healthy adult-child relationships and healthy communities matter for mental health, positive behaviour and healthy child development at home and in school. Then.. Take Stock and Go for Results.


If I had understood these ideas earlier

I could have been a lot more effective

Family Support Worker



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