Readiness for Change: How would you describe You?

In my work with schools, parents and young people, I often hear people talking about the fact that they feel they have tried everything to engage parents, but the parents don't want to come along.  Or I hear parents saying that they have tried everything to interest their child, but their child is not interested.  I sometimes hear parents saying that they have tried to get their school interested in some training but the school have not been interested.  And sometimes I hear people talking about themselves but feeling that all their apparent efforts were not paying off.  So what is this issue of readiness to change?

Readiness for Change is something we always need to be thinking about when thinking about change with complex children, parents and professionals.   Broadly speaking where readiness for change is concerned we can divide people (young people and adults) into three groups: those who are not interested (yet) and may seem very passive, those who are motivated if support is around but may do a lot of blaming of others, and those who are quite independent in their learning process and don't need much encouragement to get going and go further.  In solution-focussed therapy these are referred to as visitors, complainants and customers

In relation to parenting, or to being a professional with complex children this breakdown might appear as follows:   Have a read and ask yourself which best describes you   

Group 1: Visitor

Right now, though you care about your child, you haven't got the energy to do any more than you are already doing.  

You may know your child has challenges and you may have tried to get help or a diagnosis but now you hope that he/she is getting the support from others/ school that is needed.   

Conclusion:  I Matter Training is not for you - not yet anyway.   It is quite a demanding course that you need to really want to do, so don't rush.

Group 2: Complainant

Parenting/caring for your child has been or currently is a real struggle.  You never imagined it was going to be this challenging.

You feel you have tried so many things and nothing seems to have helped.   You often feel like giving up but you are determined and a fighter and willing to do what it takes. 

Conclusion:  I Matter Training may be challenging but it will help you step back and figure out what is happening and what you need to do.  
Group 3:  Customer

You really enjoy being a parent or professional and are committed to being the best you can be.  

You understand that your child needs something different from you and you are determined to learn as much as you can. You already know quite a lot but want to learn more

Conclusion:  I Matter Training will help fill in some of the gaps , strengthen your confidence and give you really strong foundations to work from.

If you look at the above descriptions, it is clear that it is MUCH easier to help and work with Customers for change.   It is much more difficult and often not that rewarding to work with people who are only Visitors in relation to change.  Complainants are however an interesting group - some patience is needed as they come round to understanding that change is something we can only do ourselves.  

So what about yourself?  And what about your child or the parents you work with?   Are you or they a Visitor, a Complainant or a Customer?   It makes a difference!  

Look out for more posts on Readiness for Change and how to work with it as it is important.

If you would like to check out your I Matter Readiness click here to work through our I Matter Readiness Assessment


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