We help build understanding and skills for an
I Matter Relationship Health Approach to Improving Adult and Child Wellbeing
We help adults and young people to feel clearer and more able to step into their roles with confidence so as to make a positive difference to current challenges. We offer a tried and tested step by step approach that starts with building solid foundations
ENJOY THE FREE DOWNLOAD: WHY I MATTER
You are in the right place if you want to:
+ Feel clearer and more confident in relationships
+ Be more effective in addressing anxiety or difficult behaviour
+ Want to make a positive difference in a challenging situation
But right now know you need some help..
WHICH IS YOU?:
Here are those we are working to help:
+ Home life and work life are BOTH important to you
+ You want to feel confident, calm and capable, enjoying your roles in helping children and adults - first at home and then at work
+ Yet..right now... you don't know what to focus on to help things improve or feel better - though you feel you have tried everything
+ So, the experience is one of feeling stressed and sometimes overwhelmed and going round and round in circles in one or both roles.
+ On a daily basis you may be coping with challenges of difficult behaviour and anxiety - as well as with frustration or discouragement
+ You are ready to commit to the work that is needed to feel confident about next steps - if only you could see a way forward
In the I Matter Programme - we talk about an overlooked but very important term - Relationship Health.
When you hear the term 'relationship ill health' you probably know immediately what is being discussed - and the likelihood is you urgently want more relationship health at home, at work or in your community.
Relationship ill health is at the heart of some of our greatest overwhelm challenges yet we have not been discussing it. Relationship Health, on the other hand, is an overlooked approach to improving wellbeing, helping with anxiety and managing difficult behaviour that is exciting and that will get you thinking! It involves understanding and skills that adults and young people can learn. Our current priority is to support parents-carers and professionals who want to feel better equipped for their important roles with good foundation training. We would love you to join us in this learning journey - (so you can become more reiiably like the second image!)
The insight and skills are most important if you live or work in direct roles with children and other adults. The preparation is important for success in all relationships and good preparation helps when there are challenges - or a history of trauma - and especially if you are someone who wants to help and wants to make a difference.
However there is a lot to learn and it can be tricky to know where to start.
Better adult-adult, professional-parent and home-school-community relationships for example can transform outcomes for young people (such as mental and physical health, education and crime). So what this takes is everyone thinking about the part they have to play - and then being willing to take personal action to develop deeper understanding and new skills.
Would you try to build a house without strong foundations?
The trouble with trying to progress relationship health in your family or work or community setting without strong foundations is that when challenges increase or the complexities multiply, decision making without strong foundations can become unsteady. Things become murky - confusion can set in.
The strength of a house with strong foundations is that when turbulent times arise - which they always do - the core principles remains strong and protective - reinforcing habits which support good decisions.
We invite participants to learn how to build your own well-being and that of children and adults you care for on the strong foundations for Relationship Health. We have seen the power of learning the I Matter Framework!
That's where making time to study the I Matter Framework can help!
The I Matter Framework is a carefully structured integration of decades of research evidence in a practical and easy to understand form, taught through a step by step approach. It introduces you to ideas you don't want to miss! You could be wanting to prepare well or you might be facing some challenges right now.
Participants are sometimes just starting out and have not done much training or sometimes they may have done lots of training but not discussed relationship health much yet. Relationship health nonetheless involves all relationships and so if you want to feel better equipped here are some foundation ideas and skills that really matter for success whether for work in professional roles in education, health or community. or life as a parent or carer or young person or adult-adult relationships
1) I WANT TO BE CONFIDENT ...BUT....IS IT NORMAL FOR IT TO BE THIS HARD OR CONFUSING?
THIS PROGRAMME IS ALSO FOR THOSE WHO WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO LOOK BACK IN 6-12 MONTHS TIME KNOWING THEIR OWN ACTIONS HAVE MOVED THEM ON FROM FRUSTRATION AND IRRITATION OR WORRY AND LACK OF CONFIDENCE TO IMPROVED RELATIONSHIP HEALTH FOR SELF AND OTHERS AT HOME AND AT WORK SO AS TO
+ GET UP IN THE MORNING LOOKING FORWARD TO THE DAY AHEAD WITH FAMILY, COLLEAGUES OR CLIENTS WITH VARIED NEEDS
+ KNOW YOU HAVE EQUIPPED YOURSELF WITH STRONG EVIDENCED BASED FOUNDATIONS TO ADDRESS A WIDE RANGE OF EVERYDAY CHALLENGES
+ BE ABLE TO GO TO BED WITH A SMILE THINKING ABOUT ENJOYABLE AND REWARDING RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCES FROM YOUR DAY
+ SEE THE PROGRESS THAT IS HAPPENING AND THE DISTANCE YOU HAVE TRAVELED WITH YOUR FOCUS RELATIONSHIP
+ BE ABLE TO ANSWER THE QUESTION, 'WHAT HAS CHANGED?' WITH CONFIDENCE AND A TWINKLE SAYING: 'WELL NOW I KNOW WHY I MATTER!'
Let me introduce myself:
I'm Cathy, I am an I Matter Relationship Health Coach
I have over 25 years of experience working with children and adults first in the classroom and later in child and adult clinical psychology services and then in CAMHS. I was a also a confused parent. Eventually I realised there was something really important missing that needed a name: that thing was relationship health
So I specialize in helping people who are professionals and parents break out of patterns that are creating unnecessary struggles for them in their roles at work and at home. I help them feel grounded, calm, confident and in control, with confidence to manage challenges of a full range without overwhelm. We do this by going back to basics and revisiting ideas that will likely seem familiar... this back to basics start is what I call the I Matter Framework.
I created this specific program because my practice was filling up with smart, capable parents and professionals whose challenging multiple roles had brought with it a level of self-doubt that was damaging their ability to be effective
I Matter Relationship Health Coaching isn't simple positive thinking. It's about learning a clear way of understanding what is happening in challenging situations including how to get to root of the issues that are tripping you up so you can make shifts that change how you feel and how you show up to help your children and other adults.
And this is Jacqui Wilson, a highly experienced relationship health practitioner
Jacqui trained as a gestalt psychotherapist, and also worked as a foster carer. Jacqui and I have worked together for over 10 years in child and family services.
We now run a specialist Relationship Health programmme together in the Kendal, South Lakes area employed by the NHS Kendal Primary Care Network and with social prescribing. So we work actively with GP's and Schools in supporting parents and carers and young people.
Jacqui and I also work together on the independent programme and on practitioner training. Over the past years we have worked with hundreds of parents and professionals
So, we like to offer participants a map through the maze - and help to read the map and then live it!.
This is how we work.
LEARN TO PUT
IDEAS TO PRACTICE
If you are currently feeling in the middle of a frustration, irritation or worry storm in your home or work relationships
grab our FREE Summary: Why I Matter; to get clear on the first steps out of the overwhelm.
SIGN UP FOR THE FREE DOWNLOAD: WHY I MATTER
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
We understand what it’s like to navigate multiple roles while experiencing uncertainty and mental exhaustion. This programme emerged from the experience of navigating a full range of challenging home and work situations that have challenged us to grow and keep learning in ways we never anticipated.
Many parents who are also committed to their work find themselves struggling to adjust to the challenges of multiple roles. We have seen it over and over again in our coaching roles. The experience of juggling multiple needs can send the mind into overdrive, and confidence plummetting.
OVERWHELM AND LACK OF CLEAR FOUNDATIONS AND FOCUS CAN LEAVE COMPETENT PEOPLE QUESTIONING THEIR OWN SKILLS AND CAPABILITIES DAILY.
However, this state of discouragement, frustration, overwhelm and mental exhaustion is not inevitable. It's possible to dramatically improve your ability to adjust and succeed at things that matter at home and at work, to get out of insecurity and into feeling calm and confident and more effective - but a good map of the route there really helps!
There is nothing more frustrating than wanting to confidently help in your roles but being disabled by doubt and uncertainty especially if you are caring for a child or adult
+ It's mentally exhausting trying to figure everything out but finding yourself going round and round and not getting anywhere
+ It can be embarrassing to be having all these challenges
Then self-judgement and other-judgement can set in
+ People are looking at me and thinking...(add a million judgments)
+ Why can't I get things right with this child or other person?
+ Surely I should know what to do now...
+ I have made some stupid mistakes!
+ Why can't they just...?
IN THIS WAY UNHELPFUL HABITS AT HOME OR WORK ARE LIKELY IMPACTING EACH OTHER SUPPORTING THE PROBLEMS THROUGH OVERTHINKING, AVOIDANCE OF CONFLICT OR CRITICISM, TRYING TO BE PERFECT, AND SECOND GUESSING, OR TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS.
This is an exhausting way to live, It not only feels bad, it will sabotage your long-term well-being and success and those of your family and clients - and it will burn you out.
Here is the Good News: You Aren't as Stuck as You Think
If you want a home life and a professional or work life that allows you to feel good about the contribution you are making, you can have it. It's not a pipe dream. It's possible to feel confident and calm and clear with solid insight and tools in both roles. You are capable of showing up with a solid foundations for confidence and a mindset to learn and step up to challenges really well. You just need some support and tools to help you to get your mind and your capabilities on the same page.
This work isn't about magic dust or empty affirmations, it's about learning some vitally important ideas, grounded strategies and deep mental breakthroughs. We aren't meant to navigate this alone.
If you want something different, you need to do something different.
In coaching you get personalised help to learn how to do that
And a bit more information....about the I Matter Learning Journey
So is this for parents or professionals? It is for both roles!
We help parents and professionals who are stressed in their roles at home and work and who want to become more effective in helping children with challenges with a step by step tried and tested approach
Well informed parents work better with professionals and well informed professionals work better with parents. Well informed professionals and parents are more effective with young people! Young people can also grow hugely from an i matter relationship health learning journey!
What age is an I Matter Relationship Health Learning Journey for? The truth is Relationship Health is for all ages and stages. So in our newsletter we pick up themes around relationship health from different ages on a monthly basis and in the coaching programme we often pick a different focus when starting work with a new group of I Matter Journeyers. The real key issue is your readiness to learn and grow and change!
What Others Say
I Matter Training
“The Kendal Integrated Care Community has adopted the I Matter Framework as a foundation for our thinking about how to work together in our community to help those who are struggling. Professionals and non-professionals are learning together. It feels good.”
Dr Amy Lee
GP Safeguarding Lead Kendal Integrated Care Community
I Matter Training
“The I Matter approach of considering the adults needs alongside those of the children is such a useful way to look at things and has turned the dynamics on its head for me. I have realised my stress levels are having a huge impact on all of us as a family and learning to change this is starting to make a difference.”
parent of teenager with challenges
I Matter Training
“EVERY teacher and parent would benefit from this programme. Parent carers are a group of people I would like to get this to. This would be a fantastic opportunity to bring a very isolated group of people together to improve the situation they are in. ”
Carer support professional
Children and adults of all ages
I Matter Training
“I am a HLTA but also a parent and foster carer. I work with primary aged children, have 3 teenagers, and foster toddlers! This programme has been so valuable for each and every relationship I encounter on a daily basis. ”
Higher Level Teaching Assistant and Foster Carer
Trained for work and home purposes
I Matter Training
“This programme has had a big impact on my own well-being which has meant that I have been more able to cope better with the expected and unexpected aspects of life in a calmer rational manner!! ”
Key Stage 4 Leader and Parent
I Matter Training
“The registration questionnaire really got me thinking. I realised how isolated I had let myself become and that this was not helping me or my child. I took action the next day and phoned a friend. I also made another follow-up appointment to speak with my GP. ”
I Matter Training
“This training has been so much more than I expected it to be. I have learned so many things that have changed my understanding of myself and of my child. I have worked with many services before this but this has really made the difference. Now I know why I Matter ”
Parent of child with additional needs
Relationship Health Practice News and Notes offers a range of reflections and relevant links on Relationship Health and I Matter principles.