Choose Your Focus  

Preparation for Parenting and Caring: Typical and Complex Roles:  Jane and Pete are looking forward to becoming parents but where should they start?   They have thought about the room in which their child might sleep and what colour the walls might be but what exactly will their child need from them and why?   Jane and Pete are motivated to learn more but it doesn’t seem that easy to find training to equip them for what is to come and to help them to work well together.

After the I Matter Preparation for Parenting-Caring Programme, Jane and Pete describe themselves as having done some deep thinking.   The training had introduced a lot of ideas and got them started on talking about some issues they had never thought too much about.   Learning about brain development and about their own responses in everyday situations had helped them realise that caring for a child was going to involve a lot more than they had realised. It felt good to feel prepared.

Adult and Young Adult Relationship Health and Wellbeing:   Lisa and Jack don’t know each other and are not parents and are not interested in that role right now but they have plenty of relationships – with family, friends and out and about and some of these can feel pretty challenging.  Why is it that other people’s behaviours can sometimes feel so difficult?   Why was it that their own feelings were sometimes so tricky to understand?  Lisa and Jack are motivated to feel more confident in their relationships as it makes complete sense that this will help their own wellbeing in varied roles.

After the I Matter Programme for Adults and Young Adults, Lisa and Jack find that relationships have suddenly become more interesting!  The training had covered some ideas that they had heard a bit about before but this time it was all making a bit more sense.  It felt great to know how to watch what was happening in everyday situations, especially when there was conflict.   It felt very good to feel more equipped to know how to stay steady, or get back on track even in challenging situations.  Lisa and Jack both noticed that though relationships could still feel quite challenging, now they had understanding and tools that made all the difference.  As they continued to practice and apply the principles they noticed their own inner strength and wellbeing becoming stronger. That felt good!

Strengthening or Recovery of Relationship Health:  Parents-Carers: Jane and Pete are committed parents in different families who found themselves at a loss in trying to understand the challenging behaviour and mood swings of their children.  Life was never straight forward with Liam or with Molly.  The behaviour was highly unpredictable and there were frequent meltdowns and angry conflicts.  Initially there didn’t seem to be a problem at school but more recently Jane and Pete had been called in to speak to the teachers.  Liam had difficulties in the classroom with his peers. Molly was always anxious and had started self-harming. Jane and Pete found themselves arguing with their partners about the best course of action as so much of the advice around seemed so conflicting. There was increasing strain in their own relationships. 

After the I Matter Programme, Jane and Pete described themselves as having had some huge light bulb moments.   They both felt they were talking well and working much better as a team with others.  Stan could still be a handful at times and Mollys still had some mood swings, but now they felt they understood what was happening and what to do with a clear system that made sense.  So when challenges increased Jane and Pete knew how to talk things through at home and with school and find the way forward.  They described family relationships as in a much happier place and relationships with their children as now more fun and more enjoyable.  School described the children as a delight!

Professionals in Education:  Maggie had always wanted to be a classroom teacher but life in the classroom was becoming more and more challenging.  There seemed to be so many children with difficulties in managing even basic expectations.   Angry meltdowns, problems in the playground, increasing reports of children self-harming – these were now all routine in her experience. The question was what to do about it?   Maggie had a sense there was something missing in the way she had been trained but she wasn’t quite sure what it was.   Knowing where to start to address something so big could at times feel overwhelming

After the I Matter Programme, life in the classroom continued to be challenging for Maggie but she was able to see what was happening through a very different lens.  Instead of feeling so isolated, Maggie felt part of a community that had given her an understanding of what she was witnessing every-day.   She now had much more confidence in how to respond with a full variety of challenges.  She felt equipped for the role with both awareness and new skills.  More importantly she felt part of a network that was committed to doing things differently – both for children and for their parents and carers – and for herself.  I Matter made sense!

Senior Leaders: Dan and Gail are GP’s in a practice serving an all age community.   For many years they had observed that when it came to serving children and families there were growing numbers of families presenting in their clinics and offices expressing concern about their child’s behaviour or mental health.  The trouble was knowing quite what to do next as most referrals led to rejections or long wait lists and even if a child was seen it generally ended after 6 weeks.  The question was what to do about it?

After taking part in the I Matter Programme, Dan and Gail started to see their patients and clients challenges through a very new lens.  More importantly, the experience of taking part had helped them to start to build relationships with senior leaders and professionals in schools in their own community and discussion of development of a local strategy brought a sense of hope into an issue that had for a long time seemed so intractable.     Dan and Gail were encouraged to hear such positive change stories reported from their own patients.   They could see that through a commitment to a step by step process that real change was a serious possibility.

Professionals Supporting Parents-Carers:   Kate and Mark have had an interest in supporting parents and carers for some time.  It makes complete sense that this is a good way to help the children that they cared about.  The trouble was the work often felt so difficult.  It seemed that there were more and more families who were struggling and relationships between professionals and parents could often become very strained and difficult.   Now there was so much pressure on everyone, it was difficult to know where to start – the risk of burn out was a serious issue every day.

After taking part in the I Matter Programme, Kate and Mark had a much deeper understanding of what is happening in the difficult situations they witness every day in their role.   They could see that their understanding was just the first step and had a much greater appreciation for why the task of working with parents and carers was so important but also why self-care. team work and a local joined up strategy was so key.  Kate and Mark were excited to see that the I Matter Learning Journey helped people with very varied needs.  It was rewarding to be part of a process of sharing a map that made sense and part of helping young people, families and professionals find their way forward in challenging times: one healthier and happier relationship at a time.