About Dr Cathy Betoin
Every meaningful journey begins by noticing what has been overlooked.
Hi, I’m Dr Cathy Betoin.
I began my career as a teacher before training as a clinical psychologist. For more than 30 years, I have worked with children, families and professionals across health, education and community settings.
Throughout those years, I kept returning to the same puzzle. I met children, parents, carers and professionals who were trying incredibly hard. We had growing knowledge about behaviour, mental health and development, yet people could still feel overwhelmed, blamed, disconnected or stuck. I recognised some of those experiences in myself, too.
I found myself asking:
Why were so many children, families and professionals still struggling despite all we had learned? And why did I sometimes find parenting and professional roles so difficult, even with years of training?
A Missing Piece
I went back to the research underpinning my training to ask whether something important had been overlooked. What stood out was the significance of adult relationships and adult capacities for children’s wellbeing.
Yet, in the systems I was working in, much of our effort remained focused on understanding or treating individual children or adults. There was often less attention to helping the adults in the home and community systems around them understand their own roles, stress responses and support needs.
My interest was not about blaming adults or overlooking children’s needs. It was about recognising that adults also need accessible understanding, practical tools and support to work together effectively—especially when relationships are under pressure.
I felt something important needed more attention -
I realised that the focus on understanding others, was often overlooking the dynamic and developmental process happening in the adults and that the skills of the adults were really important.
That insight became the starting point for I Matter:
It was only in 2020 that I discovered that the important term Relationship Health had been overlooked.
Adults understanding and skills have a huge role to play in the wellbeing of children.
Two Triangles: The Missing Links
These books are now published and ready for you!
Shifting the Focus: Physical Health, Mental Health AND Relationship Health
Since 2010 I have been developing the I Matter Framework and the Five Stages of Development of Skills for Relationship Health as a practical way of making these ideas easier to understand and apply.
Today, the I Matter work brings together books, online learning, educational consultation and community partnerships. I think of it as offering indiviudals, parents and professionals a way of understanding this overlooked issue of relationship health practice.
I Matter is designed to help people develop:
- a clearer understanding of relationships, behaviour, development and stress
- a shared language for thinking about challenging situations
- greater confidence in their own role and responses
- practical skills for strengthening relationships
- an understanding that caring for ourselves and caring for our relationships are deeply connected
The same underlying principles can be useful in many different settings — in families, schools, health services, workplaces and communities.
The starting point may be different, but the questions are often similar
Looking Ahead
My core vision is ambitious, but simple:
What if Relationship Health became a part of everyday conversations about wellbeing?
I would love to see a future in which relationship health had a central value alongside physical health or mental health.
Because when relationships become healthier, it seems to me that everything else has a better chance of flourishing.
We are working with..
YOU?
Our Values
53 Stramongate
Kendal
La94BH
United Kingdom
