Who do you turn to as your role models? This fascinating lady from the 1600's came into my awareness earlier this year when I joined a community theatre company and was unexpectedly offered the main part. (Yikes!) As the adventure progressed, the more I learned about Lady Anne, the more interested I became in her story.
Amongst other facts what impressed me most was her sheer conviction and determination to keep working for what she wanted in spite of endless obstacles.
Initially Lady Anne may have been trying to support others wishes - but eventually she developed her own conviction and pursued her own story in spite of finding that many people felt she was unreasonable and awkward. Finally, faced with a No from the King and everyone else, she had to wait a full 27 years.. before being able to get on with what she had wanted to do. And then she quietly got on with the task she had set herself - in her case restoring the castles and churches of Westmorland. Now, I find that inspiring!
Within the I MATTER FRAMEWORK we can understand why, psychologically speaking, the role models we choose are important. Role models are a special type of 'attachment figure' (bigger, stronger, or wiser significant figure) to whom we can turn mentally - or whom we can 'social reference' (think about what they could be thinking) when we have a decision to make. Our role models - chosen wisely - have the capacity to help us reach towards stronger, higher versions of ourselves. In my case, I believe passionately that psycho-education can help us understand ourselves and our children better, and can help us know how to move on and out of mental health conditions and challenging situations that can otherwise feel completely disabling. So, now when I find myself uncertain about what to do in the face of obstacles, I often ask myself ."Well, what would Lady Anne do now?" And modelling myself on her strength, I go more confidently from there.
Who do you refer to as role models in your life - and for what qualities?
This is intended to be a professional website.. However, I Matter emerged in my life out of a very personal journey and so though I don't intend to use this site to share lots of intimate details, as I start out on the task of sharing these ideas through my own on-line business, it is perhaps fitting to share with you that the I Matter Framework and the I Matter Process have been central to a very challenging journey, through a divorce - and other adventures - and on to a much happier place. with my partner Pierre.
We celebrated our second wedding last week - on the 24th anniversary of our first. On that occasion, with family and friends we released more than 100 helium balloons from the top of the golf course in Kendal, with tickets attached sending words of encouragement out to the universe (one was recovered 300 miles away!) Relationships can be very challenging, but if we persevere in that journey, there are incredible opportunities to become stronger and wiser and happier versions of ourselves.
So be warned, with an understanding of I Matter, ANYTHING can happen!
Dr Cathy Betoin
Dr Cathy Betoin
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